John Ruddy is sad as he is having trouble letting Delia Smith know how many post-match pies he think Grant Holt deserves.
John Ruddy is sad because nobody thinks he looks like a bald Benedict Cumberbatch.
John Ruddy is sad because he don’t want no scrubs.
John Ruddy is sad that he didn’t get to Delia’s pre-match buffet before Kevin Davies and Grant Holt.
John Ruddy is sad that appearing on this blog seems to be a recurring thing.
John Ruddy is sad because Fabio Capello doesn’t know who he is.
John Ruddy is sad that he didn’t get the heroes welcome he had hoped for from the Everton fans on his return to Goodison.
